Altered Consciousness

Altered Consciousness
After I watched the online video “Between Worlds”, I realized that my mind wandered away to many different areas. I found the video to be somewhat disturbing and didn’t at all enjoy watching it because of that. However, I did understand that the goal was to push us to the edge or even out of our comfort zones. I hate dealing with death. I have experienced more family deaths than other people my age, partly because relatives on my dad’s side all lived to be really old. Even though most of the family deaths that I’ve experienced were of “great” relatives that I wasn’t really close to, being around family members, who did share very close bonds and whom experienced a lot of grief from the loss, was just as equally difficult. After you experience the death of someone who cared about, certain things can bring back those memories and you can all of the sudden feel like you are going through the experience all over again. Recently, I my grandpa passed away very unexpectedly at a fairly young age. It happened right before I came to college and it really affected me. Since it happened at one of the biggest transitioning times of my life, it played a huge role in the way I viewed a lot of things in my life. Not to turn anything into a huge sob story, but watching this video brought back a lot of those memories. Especially since in the video they refer to feeling a sense of relief or even joy watching someone die. I am not at all easily offended by any means, but hearing anybody say something like that hurt. Even the fact that I’ve known people who have dealt loved ones committing suicide, and then hearing this artist talk about how they wish someone would die so they themselves could feel better, upset me a little. Seeing this video just made me have a feeling where I was still “watching” the video and taking it all in, but at the same time I was thinking about all of these other things that I didn’t enjoy thinking about and that I haven’t thought about in a long time. I think it is good to get yourself to get out of your present state of mind, especially since many people get sort of wrapped up in their own daily lives and routines. However, I would have rather have had a pleasant experience and thought of happy times that I haven’t thought about in a while instead.