Our Fairy Tale

One Night In Harlem

Once upon a time in the heart of Harlem, there lived Jackie, Tito, Jermaine, Marlon, and Michael; the Jackson Five. It was the mid 1970’s and the disco and drug scenes grew in paralleled unison. Snow, an oblivious, dimwitted simpleton from Iowa, caught a dramatic break in her Motown-soul music career and packed her bags for Harlem with high hopes of creating a large impact on the inner-city music scene. Feeling compelled to discover what her new city was like, Snow grabbed her evening coat and locked the door to her Harlem studio apartment before hitting the streets.

In a dark alley side street, The Jackson Five quickly caught sight of Snow; they sensed her uneasiness and realized they would easily be able to take advantage of her. Quickly approaching Snow, they immediately threw on a friendly vibe and convinced the vulnerable Snow to allow them to take her under their wing. The Jackson Five walked with Snow back to their Harlem penthouse for “business”, which needed immediate attention. On the way, Snow told them about her rising music career, which happened to be in the same competitive genre as the Five. The mood of the Jackson Five rapidly changed as they realized their number one seat on the Billboard Hot 100 maybe in serious danger.

Once back at the Harlem penthouse, Michael and Jermaine were in charge of distracting Snow by showing her their golden albums on the walls while the other three made phone calls to their “people”. They quickly collaborated a seamless plan to secure their top spot on the Billboard chart and ensure that the public would have never even smelled the over-night craze that would have been Snow. With the plan in place, the Jackson Five, in their all-matching disco sequined outfits accompanied by five shiny-domed afros, hit the streets with Snow en route to Studio 54; Snow, having no idea what deception or trickery could have looked like, happily jaunted along with her new posse.

Upon arriving at the door of Studio 54, the bouncer apprehensively examined the out of place Snow, in her floral-print summer dress and high heals. The bouncer pointed a finger at Snow with an open mouth, but just after he began to speak, the Five sang in harmony, “Oh no, it’s cool, she’s with us”, and made a quick pose. The bouncer, perplexed but convinced, lifted the velvet rope and the party began.

Once in the club, the Jackson Five sent Snow to their personal VIP section while they began scanning the room for their main man, Deep Throat. (He wasn’t very reliable for picking up after himself, but they thought he deserved another chance.) Once they found him, they all returned to Snow in the VIP section of Studio 54 with drinks; only the drink for Snow contained roofies! As they all casually talked and danced, Snow drank her rather colorful beverage with delight; “Wow! I’ve never tasted any so peculiar in my life! Especially not in Iow-.” Drowning off, her eyes began to cross and fell into a deep sleepy-state on a couch away from the busiest parts of the raging nightclub. The Jackson 5 celebrated by buying a round of drinks for the entire crowd; Deep Throat showed a group of friends the Polaroids he took of him smiling with a thumbs-up while pouring the poison into Snow’s drink (there were at least five).

Barry White, a common guest at Studio 54, was making his way around the club, mingling with all of the ladies, when someone accidentally bumped him through a curtain and into a side room. Just before he was about to go teach someone a lesson, he noticed an unconscious Snow lying on a couch. Thinking it was impossible for anyone to be sleeping at a hotspot like Studio 54, he went over to see what was wrong. He was hit with the realization that it was out of his power, so he immediately called 9-1-1 and an ambulance rushed to Studio 54. Though the paramedics insisted on him not going on the ambulance, Barry would not have had it any other way. He sang to comfort Snow, though also entertained the crew in the ambulance. Upon arriving at the hospital, Barry waited anxiously for any sort of news about his new acquaintance. He read outdated Cosmopolitan magazines, drank heated, old coffee, and eventually curled into a fetal-form and fell into a light sleep.

After hours of helping Snow, the doctors came out and gave Barry the news…it wasn’t good. Snow had suffered mild brain damage, and she would never be the same person she was before. She was never the same again…her music was even better! Barry fell in love with her voice and married her that week. Snow became Snow White and they created unreleased albums that are said to possess the greatest music known to man. The End.